“He violated the gag order during a hearing about whether he violated the gag order!” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Judge Merchan told Trump’s lead attorney — a guy named Todd Blanche — that his arguments didn’t make sense, that he ‘presented nothing’ and that he was losing ‘all credibility with the court.’ To his credit, Blanche fired back. He said, ‘Your honor, I lost all credibility when I agreed to represent Donald Trump! That is not an issue.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Fortunately, Trump didn’t hear any of it. He was sound asleep. Let One Rip Van Winkle is dozing off so often, they’re going to need one of those N.B.A. sweat-wiper kids to mop the drool puddles off his desk.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“On his way out of the courthouse, Groper Cleveland stopped to tell reporters how uncomfortably cold it is in the room and how very unhappy he is to be there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Eight hours a day, four days a week — it’s literally torture. Or, as the rest of the world calls it, a job.” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“I love hearing him complain about how cold it is. Someone should knit him a little pair of mittens to wear into court.” — JIMMY KIMMEL